Nothings new!

Screaming for inner peace,

waiting to be ceased,

You look around and find emptiness,

crying to be possessed.

You flip your wings high,

and when you try to fly,

monsters pulling you down,

looking at you and laughing aloud.

The hollowness of an empty heart,

you try to fill but rips you apart,

you wonder what exactly went wrong after all,

you tried to be what was false.

The earth came crumbling down,

you hid yourself and started the count,

The counts never ended, nor did you,

it broke you inside, nothings new.

A clouded note...

Sweeping through the shelf,

Found some letter unkept,

Reading through it all over again,

Brought nothing but tears in vain.

Letter clouded with dust,

So hard to blow,

The shine of the same,

Just vanished with time so.

In the middle of pointed pins,

And some embellished pens,

There was the letter lying,

Faded as never before.

Staring at the letter,

With my vigilant eyes,

Found a drop of tear,

Trying to run but...dismally died !

A different me...

Trying to rewind,

The seconds that have passed,

Counting ! moments those were happy,

And moments those were fell apart.

Reflecting in the mirror,

All I see is a different me!

Struggling to grow,

Dying to make a point,

Wondering if my existence,

Does have some sign?

Looking at the sparkling clean dishes

All I see is a different me!

What you give is what to get,

Only if it was that easy,

Staring at point blank,

Wondering if we can foresee.

Looking at the ocean so wide,

All I can see is a different me!

Trying to find a place,

Where mind can be at ease,

Wondering if anything like that exists,

That can help me discover me.

Looking within the skin beneath,

All I can see is a different me!

Blind fold...

Contemplating the truth,

Sure to you it hurts,

Gathering the tears in the bucket,

Waiting to be adhered.

Man so full of himself,

Walking with his eyes closed,

Waiting for the dawn to come,

Waiting to open the blind fold.

In the world of selfish vows,

You stand and take your one,

In the need of survival,

You wait to be found.

Feels like the game,

In the childhood that you used to play,

Hiding under the umbrella of social pressure,

You try to withstand your way.

You travel deep inside,

To realize what you have lost,

Trying to keep it to yourself,

In a special place called 'heart'.

Behind...

Random thoughts crossing my mind,

Wondering…what exactly?

I left behind.

The residue of grief and pain,

Just watched it going down the drain.

I wore a jacket of pretense,

As I was scared to face the present,

Was skeptical about the future,

Waiting to be told.

I am now an insomniac,

Dying to close my eyes,

Waking up to see a brand new world,

And to forget what I left behind.

I do not have the gumption,

To stare back at the world,

With my eyes wide open,

And standing by the shore.

All I can do is reflect in the mirror

And give myself an erubescent smile.

Droplets....

Leaning on the window pane,

The droplets trying to write my name,

I look at them crawling down,

Wondering if they make a sound.

They try to tell me story,

The one that never get,

I laugh at it as it says,

That you are here and I am there.

I try to hold them in my hands,

And they try and run,

Tickling through my tenor,

Making me giggle again.

I pass my fingers through them,

And make various shapes,

The shapes that make,

Stay for a second and break.

Comely...

In the midst of dark clouds,

I looked up and smiled,

They cried to me with laughter,

And all of them felt like rain.

I walked and jumped in the puddle,

Spread my hands to feel,

Wondered if this is what clouds laugh about,

Then how beautiful it actually is?

Threads...

Life to me is a like fish eye lens,

Everything is larger than it appears,

I am just a small particle,

But I know I exist in this universe.

I try to look beyond,

Without any speed breakers I move on,

With a speed that can kill,

I make unbreakable bonds.

Without a slight hint,

That the bonds are mere threads,

Not strong enough to hold,

Something called as death.

I still behave dazed,

And try to hold them for life,

The fear of breaking threads,

Makes me hide under the shell.

I try and weave them,

To wear them like a sweater,

But by the end of it all I am left with,

Is no thread and only a needle.

Awaited beginning !

Leaving behind the past,

I decided to move at last,

Opportunities opened their doors,

and brought me back in a galaxy called life.

In the mixture of the colours of life,

I waited and waited for this day,

And finally when I it arrived,

All I could do but is keep it away.

What I looked around for happiness,

I found it lying beside,

I was such a fool before,

That all this while I just let it slide.

Good things happen to good people,

I always thought it was a joke,

But when I experienced the goodness,

All the happiness just provoked.

It’s a new beginning,

Of a wonderful life,

What is wasted is gone,

Out of sight and out of mind.

The dark side…

The dark side of me,

Which I try to hide,

Suddenly got naked in sun,

And all I felt is burnt.

I pulled my hand,

But the burn was deep,

It went right through me,

And made my fears peep.

Till now I thought I was over them,

Unless the burn happened,

Now it brought back the wound,

That I thought I had easily forgotten.

I tried using a forward button,

So that I could run from them,

Realized I pressed a wrong one,

And it got me there, back again.

Felt like I was on a walker,

On which I ran but found myself going nowhere,

The speed could increase,

But I was still stuck there.

The dark side of me,

Which I try to hide,

Suddenly got naked in sun,

And all I felt is burnt.

With you...why?

Why did I see the beauty

of the souring sea, with you?

Why did I see the blueness

of the sky, with you?

Why was I not scared

of the world ,with you?

Why was I sound asleep

on a strong shoulder, with you?

And one day when I opened my eyes,

I saw you were gone,

I so want to go back in time,

When I was born.

Was it some black magic?

Or was I under a spell?

I was still hoping you would,

Yourself come and tell.

But I know what you did;

is not you but a coward inside,

But just for once find time and stand,

In front of a mirror.

As it will tell you what cowards look like!

Biggest fear !

Last night while was fast asleep,

A fear of losing you,

Just crawled up my mind,

The very next moment, I woke up!

I looked around,

And found myself in a catastrophe,

Sweating from head to toe,

I found myself shivering.

Something pricked me,

Felt like a balloon that someone just burst,

Looking for an outlet for air,

But found no place at first.

I tried closing my eyes,

And behaving as if anything never happened,

But the truth was way too harsh to forget,

That I was really scared.

Selling V/S Hardselling

I am not exactly an avid shopper. I have a selected choice, to put more straight, the most expensive choice. I have to be totally convinced to have liked what I am buying or I can be a nightmare to the shopkeeper. Today after around 2 yrs I had to buy some traditional outfits including a saree and a salwaar kameez for a cousin's wedding. Me being myself had no clue of what material saree should I buy? With my awesome zero size figure half of the saree options were out in any case. Listening to the senior citizens for once sounded to me like a good option. So here I enter with my mother on one side and my aunt on the other. It can be a deadly combination at times but I guess today I had to take a chance.

The first thing that my mother noticed as we landed in Vile Parle was a big board outside a big shop highlighting 50% off. Before I could even say anything we were in the shop checking out sarees. If you know me well I am not exactly a saree material person. I pick up what I like the best and I think justifies the price I pay for. So here I was in a very well lit shop, a centre of attraction because of my lovely figure trying out sarees. Fortunately the first one that I tried looked so great that I dint have to do a lot of trials. I guess I tried only two. The best part was the way these men sell sarees. They are perfect at making women wear saree. If you are aware on how saree is generally worn you would know that the saree initially needs to be tucked in well. It amazing to see the solution that these men have come up with so as no lady feels offended. They have a elastic band that they just tie around the woman’s waist to hold the saree plates properly and then they wrap the saree as needed.

1) It saves them of the embarrassment of touching the woman on her waist.

2) The women don’t feel offended.

After trying out sarees in one shop even though we seemed to like one, I wasn’t sure of this is what I want to buy. So here we began the search by proceeding towards another shop called “Silk Palace”. I had heard about this shop before but never got a chance to explore the place. So I enter with a lot of expectations. We start seeing the sarees and we request him to show us the kind of saree that we had liked in the previous shop. The sales guy first got confused but eventually somewhat got what I wanted to see. However here lies the twist in the tale. This guy tried his level best to sell that piece of cloth to me. He was asking me all sort of justification when he realized I am one of those confused type shoppers who has no clue of she wants to buy. To be really frank I dint mean to trouble the shopkeeper but I was genuinely confused on the saree that I had earlier seen and the one that I was checking out there. Beyond a point it started getting immensely annoying as he was not ready to let me go out of the shop. All of a sudden I gave up like, 'wtf !' why should I be explain someone why I don’t want to buy this saree and why the hell am I so confused. I decided to find a reason and I found one too. I told him a particular combination that I wanted and to my surprise and bad luck this guy gave me that too. Now I had nothing to say, but the matter of fact was that I was still confused. Eventually I gave up I left the shop on the note saying that I still wish to try the other saree in the previous shop. He got annoyed, also threw some stupid tantrums but I guess isn’t it my wish and my choice where I want to spend my money? Your job is to sell and not hardsell.

This behavior of his costed him one customer which he will never see in his shop ever again. I went to the previous shop tried the saree and bought it. I also bought a dress which costed me more than my saree but at the end I was a happy customer who got my space to shop, without any stupid justifications. Bravo “Tashkent”, this is the name of the shop who sold me clothes worth a bomb but without hardselling them unlike the famous “Silk Palace”.

The key is sell but don’t ever hardsell it might not go down that well especially if you find customers like me ;)

Thoughts...

Once while wandering alone,

Some thoughts cropped up my mind,

I looked right, left, below and above,

Even then I was unable to find.

Thoughts of noise and pain,

The ones which were hard to burn,

All of a sudden vanished in thin air,

And I could finally breathe.

An empty space in my heart,

Found itself half full of happiness,

What I looked for far away,

I found it was always close to me.

The pain and hatred can hardly change,

But living life all of a sudden,

Seems a mandate.

Behind my sunglasses and earphones!

I love wearing my sunglasses,

As no one can read my eyes behind them,

I love when my earphones are plugged in,

As my ears are shut to the outside world then.

No one has ever tried to know,

Why I like to be alone,

It’s a secret hidden deep inside,

Which the world can never find.

I look outside the window,

Full geared in grimace,

But it is so placidly hidden,

That no one can ever understand.

Many a times I don’t wish to hide,

I want to cry and get over with,

This feeling of being isolated,

But I can’t help, let it survive.

I am waiting for the day when,

I can look beyond it comfortably,

When I don’t have to struggle to breath,

I will just be at peace.

I tried giving life a second chance…

I tried giving life a second chance,

But my past doesn’t want to leave me alone,

It has a master plan to hound me,

I think till I reach my death bed.

I try to look at brighter things,

The good that happens to me,

But why is the dark shadow of past,

As always trying to eat me up.

I close my eyes,

Hoping to close my past,

But when I open,

That is all that I see has last.

When I think of a master plan,

It fails me always,

I try and run away,

But I find myself strangled and breathless.

I tried giving life a second chance,

But the life refused to take it,

It brought me back where I started,

To the point when I gave up!

I still tried giving life a second chance,

But it turned me down.

So much so that I can’t fight anymore,

I want to look beyond, but I fail to do so.

Looking back…

Something’s on my mind,

That is asking me to run away,

I so wish it was easy,

To face you each and everyday.

Can’t say that I miss you,

Can’t believe its true,

Can’t tell you that deep within,

I still love you.

I wish I could turn the clock,

To time when we were together,

To make believe myself,

That we will be happy forever.

I look at you and you refuse to look back,

I wish we could talk through eyes,

And still know what’s on our mind,

But I see a blank slate and nothing left behind.

I am aware of the real scenario,

Where I know you will never come back,

But somewhere deep within,

The fact is, I still fear to look back.

Child inside me...

For you my “Mom”

I just killed the child inside me,

So you feel secured,

That my child has finally grown up!

Saw you in hardships and sorrows,

Was too small to be there for you then,

Now shall try and help,

In every way that I can!

I did take time to understand,

Your worry for me,

I am still like an ostrich,

Who refused the harsh world to see!

Today when I look in the mirror,

I see what a fool I am,

That I can never run away from the truth,

That now it’s time to grow up.

I can’t be a child anymore,

Who is carefree without any responsibility?

I have to grow up,

And that’s why I just killed the child inside me!

Disconnected...

Some days ago I felt so happy,

As if I was connected to one and all,

All of sudden I just have a feeling of being disconnected,

From all my loved ones.

I was never like this!

Was always a happy child,

But now in the environment I live in,

I feel very disconnected.

I think I now have a sociophobia,

And I want to run away from it,

Don’t want my people to know,

What I think and what I feel.

Only a bunch of people,

Who know me in and out!

Would love to be with them,

And avoid others around.

I wonder where this fear found me?

Was I walking on road or sleeping then,

But I know it has encroach me well,

Well enough to never let me go.

I miss being me !

In the world so big that it can’t fit in my hand,

I fear if I’ll ever be me,

I will be crushed and walked over,

And to this moment I will just be a spectator.

This is the reason,

I am over confident and shrude,

And in this process I sometimes realize,

I miss being me!

Should I be like this or change?

To my original self?

Give away my defense as charity,

And let people walk over me?

My attitude protects me,

From the people who want to harm me,

But I am so not what I project to be,

I am so not me!

I miss being me!

Dare you quit !

In loneliness and fear,

When the world turns back to you,

You feel like giving it up,

But dare you quit.

Times always change,

Everyday cant be good and happy,

Face it with courage,

But dare you quit.

This difficult time,

Teaches you how to live,

All should experience it,

But dare you quit.

Every cloud has silver lining,

So does your problem too,

Wait for the coins to flip,

But dare you quit.

Once you surrender yourself,

To the troubles of your life,

You will understand,

The reason why not to quit.

My perfect man !

I want such a man,

Who would wait for me to hold him tight,

Would assure me that,

He will always be by my side.

Who would kiss my forehead,

And pamper me like a father,

Scold me when I am wrong,

In illness will also be my mother.

Who would never dominate me,

All support me in what ever I do,

Come to pick me up if late,

And still wouldn’t yell at me,

Who is presentable and polite enough,

To face all my loved ones,

Mixes with them all,

And loves me in tons.

Never would tell me,

Why are you this way?

Would overcome my limitations,

Would teach me and say, I love you.

Would take care of me like a child,

And would save me from all disasters,

Would just support me emotionally,

In whatever life brings.

Supports my family,

Loves my mom,

Would never mind me going home,

Would insist if he could come.

If ever in life I would find such a guy,

Would love him more than anybody,

Would never let him go,

And would do everything to keep him happy.

Would listen to every word of his,

Just without an argument,

Would be with him in his hard times,

So that he is never alone.

Will love him and care for him,

Just the way he does,

Will never give him a chance to complain,

Come what may come…

Second chance !

Have people around,

Still I feel alone.

Have a bunch to laugh but,

No one cry.

Have many to play,

But no one hold hands.

Have many to walk,

But no one trust upon.

Being single is not easy,

In the world of lovers,

But coming across the right one,

Is also not an easy task.

You come across many,

Some of them just for a flash,

By the time you know them,

You see they are gone.

You run behind them,

You love them, care for them,

They don’t even look back once,

And people say that’s your hard luck.

You fall in love,

Do everything what he tells you,

But still at the end he is unhappy,

Because you always mess up.

A person who will care,

And be with you throughout,

Is really difficult to find,

Depends totally on your destiny.

But then life is always taking a chance.

The worst fear !

The fear of losing someone,

Is the worst thing to happen !

But it’s the law of the nature,

We don’t have an option than to surrender.

One moment his presence,

And then his absence for life,

Is so terrible to face,

But we don’t get a second chance.

The pain of missing someone,

Is really difficult to explain,

Is best known to the person,

Who has lost someone to the almighty.

People cry but for sometime,

Later everything is back to the square one,

No one bothers if you are present,

That’s the way it always is !

But ask the person who has lost,

The most precious thing of all,

How terrible it is to live with the fact?

That the person is no more.

To live with his memories throughout,

The life that we lead,

To feel his presence even if he is not,

And to fake that you have accepted all,

To smile with others,

As if nothing has happened,

All is fine and right because,

We don’t have an option than to surrender.

Flip...

I live in two worlds;

One that I love to be in and,

The other that I am forced to be in,

The one that I love seems like a story being unfold,

Where everything is just about, right,

The other is harsh and takes me close,

To something called as real life.

My world, the one I love is away from,

The hatred of the world, the scams and the scandals,

The one that I am forced to be in is a big mean world,

Where one is about to eat the other,

In the race of love, money and status.

I don’t want to live the big bad world,

I want to break free where I can see,

Only how, I want my world to be.

A peep within…

I fear to look inside,

For all I can find is a different me.

Looking back at the past,

I fear that present shall also not last.

“My world” so called a fool’s paradise,

Keeps me happy and away from reality,

It’s like a fairy land to me,

Where hatred, pain and games don’t exist,

All I fail to realize that it’s just a fool’s paradise.

Inside me I see various fears,

Dying to crawl outside and stand still before me,

I try and runaway to a place where they can’t reach,

But when I look back I see them follow,

I run, I run till I pant and give up on them,

They still want to catch hold of me,

And see me die underneath.

I fear to look inside

For all I can find is a different me.

Contradictory worlds

Back to back it just makes me feel that I have visited two different worlds altogether in this weekend.

Yesterday evening I had been to a colleague’s place which was located in the posh area of Bandra Pali hill. Initially I was skeptical about how the entire evening would pass as the audience present there was not much my age and my kinds. There were few old friends who have now quit my work place and have moved on in life. However to my surprise each and every one of them turned up. And the audience mix was of SOBOS (South Bombayites) and a new concept and a word that I learned yesterday MAKABOs (Malad, Kandivli, Borivali). I realized I am a proud MAKABO . The evening began with an awesome starter sessions accompanied by some best wines and other drinks.

It was great to see that for once I was not feeling lost and unwanted in a party like this, which most of the times I feel. And this is the reason why I stay away from this kind of social attention. It gives me a feeling that I can’t be what I am when I around people who are fake, born in India but always dream of being a firang, who are highly status conscious, wear only rocks which are possibly heavier than their fingers, who talk about Gucci and Jimmy Choo and who think half of the good things in the world are just too LS (low standards). As it was an office get together the hot topics were obviously pertaining to few characters at work that have become famous in no time for all the wrong things possible. However before I divert from the topic I must tell you that the house was very beautiful with exactly the kind of furniture and warmth that I like. The house was not huge but from its window you could see the entire Bandra and beyond (a perfect place for morning tea). On the right hand side there was a huge terrace which when inquired I was told is of Sanjay Dutt and Manyata. Two blocks away is the bungalow of Ranbir Kapoor and five blocks away stays Deepika Padukone. I wonder sometimes how does it feel to own a house in such a posh area? Does that make you feel like a star? Does that change you as a person? Or does that change your food habits? I think living in a place like this is only worth if you don’t change as a person from within. But I know it far easy said than done.

And here is the other side of the coin.

Today is Holi a festival colours and one of my personal favorites. As a child I was never fond of this festival, later in life I realized that I didn’t ever hate this festival probably I was always with the wrong set of people. Since past 3- 4 yrs I have been enjoying this festival like crazy. And thanks to my lovely, crazy, mad set of friends. They are someone who love me and accept me for what I am and not what people want me to be. With them I can be dumb, crazy, stupid, roll in the mud, smile with colour all over me , with black teeth and still get an assurance that they would hug me the same way as they would if I had ever been anything big in life. Today we did everthing that we do every year on Holi. We were drenched in mud and colours, we ate hot samosas at Paras (a local store in Borivali) , we were roaming like vellas (a synonym for the people who have nothing great to do in life) on the road doing a lot of vellagiri and finally settling down in a place where probably atleast 10 people or few dogs must have pee- ed. Yes but I love doing all this rather I love being myself, a carefree bird, a lost child who is happy in her own small world.

And this is the world I like to be in no matter where I reach in my professional life or maybe I get married to someone who is stinking rich (chances of this happening is very low, thou) I will still be more happy with my people who love me and judge me on what I was to them and not what I am to the world today.

I pretend...

I pretend to be strong,

But I am not.

I pretend to be ok,

But I am not.

I pretend to be you,

But I am not.

What I am is a question that

I ask often ask myself.

I see people around me,

Climbing the ladder of success faster than me,

They are shrude, rude and mean,

Behind there success lies the unhappiness unseen.

To me they are a corpse,

Dying to be alive,

Trying to act human,

But lost in the race of time.

When I look back,

I find no regret,

But I often ask myself,

Am I happy to be where I am?

What I get back is an answer to myself,

That is that "I pretend"

Family ties or tied family.

Sometimes you wonder, whether are you surly a product of the family you belong to? I too often ask myself this question. Not because i don't love my family or that my family doesn't love me but with uninvited judgement sessions that happen really make me rethink my existence. I know somewhere down the line what they say is true, a fact and many a times for my own benefit, however they fail to understand that the way they explain things to me is exactly the wrong way to approach me.

They are my family right? Aren't they supposed to know me or understand me far better than what others would? But then in my case i have no clue why it is the other way round? Maybe I am wrong, may be this situation arises in every household possible. But frankly speaking this totally is just a very unreasonable way of dealing with people of my generation. I especially come from the school of thoughts which say “do the exact opposite of what you are forced to do". Now here lies another twist in the story. When you do this you are accused of being “not responsible", "spend thrift" and a useless creature that exists on this planet.

Let me take you through some characters that I am sure exists in every family. Let’s begin with a good one:

A befriend er : This character is mostly the person you are generally super close too. "SHE" in my case but also can be a "HE” and is approx of your age or belongs to the same age group. You share anything and everything with this person. And therefore in the family you are accused of doing wrong things and keeping it to yourself and this befriend er. Sometimes makes you feel like you are dating HIM/HER when in reality this bond cannot exist. Caution: Other family members may not like it and You shall climb one more milestone in becoming the " Black sheep" of the family.

An Intelligent legend: This character can be of any age group but is mostly recognised when he/she is elder to you. This character does not initially have any extra will to be the best but to the family he/she might be called as a family "GEM". "Humara naam roshan kargi types" This character is often brilliant in academics, an excellent cook, an excellent daughter, sister, maasi, naani, maa etc etc. HE/SHE ends up setting examples which can be very injurious to the other kids of the family. Therefore termed by family these creatures are basically an intelligent legend. Caution: You can be compared to this creature any time in your life and your life can be miserable.

An ideal wife: Now this is a special case in the family. This "SHE" in the family is basically every mother’s dream. She loves to be at home, she in her life only has one aim and that is to be a perfect house wife. And then show the world how great, motherly and loving I am. Generally with this species there is a problem, mostly they are an insecure breed, therefore the moment they are frustrated they exactly do what is wrong and that is put the blame on someone who cannot or will not back answer. This is the way they try hard to express their love. Caution: The target of this creature is mostly younger siblings and children.

A timid soul: This character is one who is intelligent however is timid is nature. HE/SHE knows almost everything about her work and the profession that HE/SHE is in. However this poor soul has never explored the world and therefore does not know that the world is not just in between pages, it’s far beyond our reach. This character is mostly known in the family for being simple and down to earth. Caution: The repacaution of this is only realized by this character which then HE/SHE passes on as learning lessons to her siblings.

A wicked witch: This character mostly arises from the paternal side of the family. Generally its seen that this character is a female who is influenced a lot from the Ekta Kapoors “K Serial”. She makes faces; she is cruel and will not leave any chance to let you down. She is superb at acting therefore in front of other members of the family she is as innocent as you can imagine and only you know how cruel she is. She has one more great quality and that is she can cry anytime and she make you cry anytime too. Caution: She is like an unchanged Cruella De Vil. Therefore avoid contact as much as you can.

A gossip monger: This character as the name suggest is an ultimate gossip sharer and receiver. This character has a special skill and that is HE/SHE can make you puke all the juicy news that you are aware of and then it shall not only be spread in the family but everyone around you shall know what you have done. Caution: This character is fondly know as BBC, however there isn’t anything much about being “FOND”

If you wonder and look back I am sure you shall find such characters in your family. They are patented members of the family. The rest of the members however do not have a strong say, so they can be easily neglected or be heard off. Do let me know if any more important character I need to focus on. Caution: There can be many such creatures floating around you, “BEWARE”.

I have been away from the technology for quite some time now. I was travelling throughout India. It was a different kind of a journey. I travelled for 18days in one train. Yes the train was my home. The people in it were my family. The landscapes around me were my friends. Yes this was my journey.

Initially when I reached the place where I met 400 new people. They were from different backgrounds, different cultures and they had their own set of views comments and ideas. I thought that I was a complete miss fit and wondered if my decision of going for this trip is right? But as the days passed and I as I interacted with people I realised that I was meant to be there. If they had social and political views I had ideas to share.

I can't believe that I have made such amazing friends that I would treasure for life. everything on the yatra had its own charm, the bath, the food, the rules etc etc. But i must say it was a life time experience. It actually thought me many things on many levels. It thought me to believe that "Society" as an entity exists around me to which till date I had ignored completely. That is because i was very happen in my small cocoon of life. My family, my friends, my so called rocking advertising career, my salary etc were the ones that mattered to me. I was indeed very selfish in my thought process. In short i was too much of myself. But when i met people in this yatra i realized that there are many things to life apart from the " ME factor". This made me think and think and think to a point that i realized I am a changed individual from within. There were people in the yatra who din't know what is a "Khakra" to my astonishment i really couldn't believe that such a set of people ever existed in the world. There were people who are studying for their IAS and have come from a village where electricity hasn't yet stepped in. All of a sudden in a fraction of a second a flash back ran through my mind. When at my place if the electricity would be down even for 10 mins i would very frantically call the Reliance service and fire them for the same.

Now when i look back I wonder...what i did was so wrong. My cribbing all of a sudden seems a useless affair to me, my wants seem to me as a luxury than a necessity, my life seems to be very small rather to put it correctly negligible as compared to what i heard and saw in the 18 days of my journey. Probably after this post my parents would think I am gone crazy, my friends would think that the Mumbai princess is out of her mind. But deep within I know what has this journey done to me.

I will think twice before i buy something from the mall, as I now know the difference between a need and a want.

Luv Adi